The Shades

The SHADES

Shielding from what others could see in me,

Shades are helping me explore the sky and the sea;

Shades not only of grey but of colorful variety,

Life is best seen in the polaroid reality.

~ jocrossy ~

21 Sept 2015

@12:54PM

Expression... Writing... Sketches...

EXPRESSION:

When the mind is confused with words

on what the heart unfolds,

it's the hand that holds... 

WRITING:

Let your thoughts flow through words,

let your words flow through your hand,

and let your hand write everything from your heart... 

SKETCHES: LINES AND CURVES

Even lines and curves tell a hundred words

Of what's within, what ones feeling lords.

The heart is beginning to sketch

The joys and pains that experiences etch.

Each stroke comes with the wave

Which  life wishes to save.

It is the stillness of the mind

That enables pieces of thoughts to bind.

It is the calmness of the heart

That allows images to impart.

A beauty unique and beyond compare,

A thousand words that pictures declare.

~ jocrossy ~

19 Sept 2015

@ 9:00 AM

The Butterfly

"What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly." 

- Richard Bach -

Here comes the visitor!

"Shoeing" off. hehe

Taking a pose

Beautiful landing!

Frolicking... ＼(^-^)／

A step closer...

Lights and shadows...

The bonding!

The flight...

Simply as is...

Just when I thought of learning how to fly, you came by right at the doorstep. What a pleasant surprise! 

A moment is lived with your beautiful, entertaining, playful and happy presence. 

Thank you for the visit, Madam Butterfly. ♥

Freedom is...

It's great to always find that inner joy. 

But freedom is also another wonderful thing that directs one how to live life...

Let me quote the word for me today from Message from God,

"Today, Mary, we believe God wants you to know that ...

IT IS ALSO IMPORTANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU DO NOT WANT.

Sometimes when you go through a period of great difficulty and struggle, it is so that you can finally realize what you do NOT want in your life. Then finally, at long last, you can embrace what you DO want.

GIVING UP and SURRENDERING.

Giving up is an expression of exhaustion. Surrendering is more allowing. Like, after utilizing one's own effort for series of events, one finally gives up for having no further options maybe. But surrendering is when one has recognized one's own will or wants and finally let it go for the Greater Good to take care of it. There is joy, peace and a greater sense of freedom...

Acts of LOVE

If your act, no matter how little, is moved by love, you will see that love can make things possible. Even the universe conspires to your heart's desire! The bonus? You feel loved as well and it drives you to embrace the universe. A feeling so overwhelmingly grateful!  ^_^
Shouting at the top of your silence to your heart's contentment, "I love You, Lord!" <3 p="">~ jocrossy ~
27 August 2015, Feast of St Monica

...let me find myself in Your Voice

As I continue in my discernment, this morning, I uttered these words before Him in the Blessed Sacrament,
Let me find You, Lord in this calling, and let me find myself in Your Voice...

And minutes after in Mass, the priest in his sermon spoke about trust in God.  
"Trust in God and you will find that everyday is a miracle... With Him, you will walk in faith, hope and love in your life."
Was it an instant response from Him? I can only thank God for tirelessly and lovingly listening to me. But I guess God just have to be a little more patient with me. hehe

Allow Jesus to kiss my wounds?

I found the article on God's Gaze when a friend posted a link on Facebook. You must read it! This is beautiful! To quote from the article,

My spiritual director once recommended that for my daily Examen, instead of trying to feel God’s presence I let God feel my presence. I imagined what it might look like from God’s perspective as God brought me into God’s mind, felt my presence, and gained awareness of what I was feeling that day. This loving gaze revealed to me God’s desire for prayer with me, that my feelings mattered, and that God not only wanted to know about my day but wanted to experience it with me. That is compassionate love.

It reminds me of my summer retreat in 2010 when my spiritual guide told me that in all those years I was kissing the wounds of Jesus in the crucifix everytime I venerate, so why don't I allow Jesus to kiss my wounds? It truly struck me and just like this one, 'God's Gaze', it is a beautiful perspective that leads to the healing of our wounded-ness. And it is helping me in my healing process. But even this also needs the work of grace, so do we continue to beg God to grant us the grace to be open to His gaze, that we truly welcome Him as He embrace us with great empathy, acceptance and love.

Everything happens for a reason. In our lifetime, we might commit a lot of 'mistakes' but God is always around to help us in our detours. We may delay in reaching the path, but we will arrive there, in due time... ;)

A poem for Hannah

This is a poem I wrote for Hannah a few weeks ago. I was not feeling well in those days. On 21 July, still feeling dizzy, as I opened my eyes, The Little Prince dvd in my bookshelf which Hannah gave me caught my attention and reminded me then of my desire to wrote a poem for her. Without much effort, the words flow through and below is the fruit,  ^_^

Be the rose you want to be

Not just for everyone to see.

But for your little darling heart

You owe such a big part.

When the prince comes to tame you,

Accept and be merry as you can do.

But when time comes he has to leave,

Accept, be sad, and learn to forgive.

The beauty that you are is so precious my dear.

The happiness within should dry your tear.

Let not the world wilt your peace.

To the Great One above you are a masterpiece. 

Sway with the wind knowing who you are.

Bloom in the fields, the sun shines not too far.

Scars will no longer matter as you dance it all out.

Beautiful! There you go! That's what you are about.

+ jocrossy +

@8:50 AM

21 July 2012

'Your Love' for my brother

I love listening to music while having lunch in my desk. I would keep on rolling songs in youtube, genre depending on what I feel like listening to. Today I played music performed by many artists maybe on concert tours, in an awards' night, etc. I love the blending of their voices. Then I found myself clicking on Nirvana's few songs which reminded me of my big brother. The rock bands of their similar time, I remember, I did my best to appreciate their music just to be able to relate to my brother. We rarely communicate in good terms as the siblings rivalry among us six was very strong. And music has been my help in relating to them, my way of communicating.

Unfortunately, my brother has gone astray, now to a 'different world'. The best song that reminds me of him is 'Your Love' by Alamid which he could sing very well. He is surely missed especially with those times that we, six siblings, are bonding together. Wish he could bring back himself when he listens to this song...

God's healing be his. May God bring him back to us, soon...

The Danggit in You

a beautiful thought just occurred to me while on my way to the office. riding on a jeepney, the long thought of danggit made me sneeze. hehe. and passing by bcnhs, i remembered k in the very tree that reminds me of him. hmmmm... i guess i can make my way to capture that tree! ;)

The Danggit in You ^_^

(In the way that this fish is preserved,)
May you be preserved not only for the consumption of the world but for God's greater purpose.
(In as much as you crave for this fish,)
May you also become desiring for many as you burn in you the passion of God's love.
(The very thought of which excites you,)
May you find in yourself the excitement to live and continue even in the most 'pitiful'/depressing situation.
(As this costs quite expensive,)
May you see the very value of your person which God Himself created to become the 'being'.
(With the salt that makes it special,)
May you be the 'salt' for many that the world longs to be the change in the most unnoticeable way.
(As small as it is,)
May you be 'small' for men yet great in the eyes of God.

+ jocrossy +
30 Sept 2011 @ 9AM

 p.s. i wrote it last year but I shared this piece to K only this 11 July 2012. hehe :p  'danggit' is a type of dried fish in the Philippines. so i'm using the picture that K posted in his fb accompanying this simple piece of art.

breviary, a revolution from the heart?

I have to return the book today for others to also learn from. So let me share one of my favorite parts from the book REVOLUTION from the HEART:

I used to slip away each day from the babble of our cell to say my breviary in the prison yard. The other prisoners gradually learned to leave me alone for those minutes. As I read the Psalms, they took on a meaning they never had before. I had always seen them as hyperbole, poetic exaggeration, a little unsuited to our age, maybe any age. All this about being falsely accused, pursued by enemies, ensnared, hungry, sick, abandoned and forgotten. But now as I read them and looked around me I could see that they were literally true, word for word, and syllable for syllable:

Reach down from heaven and save me
Draw me out from the mighty waters
From the hands of foes
Whose mouths are filled with lies
Whose hands are raised in perjury.

So many of the prisoners waiting for me to finish could have written these very words. It was as if I were praying them now for the first time since I had come to the Philippines, twenty years before.

~ Fr Niall O'Brien, Revolution from the Heart, pp. 3-4 ~ 

I can almost imagine the looks in his eyes, begging, pitiful and hungry for justice; as is the situation of Negros at that time...I love praying the breviary though I couldn't pray so everyday. And I am truly struck by Fr Niall's testimony, for many times I found myself speaking in the lines of the psalms and readings. When one is disposed to it, the grace will work on. Even the unsaid prayers of the heart will find its way to the very heart of God...

I have not loved you enough...

I have not loved you enough... Will you make me do so? Will you teach me how, please? I must learn from your overflowing and unconditional love, my God; 

 You are the great author of love...

life and death, a grace and a gift

Witnesssing celebrations of life and moments of death, it is teaching me how to get more attuned with life. At one point, it's so painful. At another, it's so peaceful. But indeed, it is a gift and a grace to be present in both moments of life and death... By grace that we learn to accept and submit to the will of the Father, and a gift that we finally find peace within us, to whatever happens... And for everything, all praises and thanks be to God! His promise remains a promise, 'Remain in me as I in you. Remain in my love.' 

Trust is: when my father pushed me for the first time to run to cross the road, with him investing his confidence on me, taking the risk that i would make it.

Freedom is: when i was allowed to play, run all the way, get bruised and wounded but so happy being carefree.

Confidence is: when after i gained the trust and confidence of another even in my little faith that i could make it, i was able to stand up, raise my head and run the race.

Winning is: when i finally reached the finished line, to no care of whether i was first, second or last as long as i made it to the end.

Sing me a song again, daddy

I was once a lovely girl who also dreamed of a beautiful future with the man I love. But more than the thought of marriage, I was always hooked on the thought of my father's presence in such a wonderful occasion. Of who will I be and what will I be at that time, I will still be my father's precious darling little girl.

But even before that dream happens, I lost my father. I remember him when he first learned of his cancer, he called me up and told me of his frustration. He was furious when the doctor without hesitation or any reservation told him straight of his medical condition. 'Was he crazy to tell me that I have cancer... when i haven't brought you yet to the altar?!' He was referring to a wedding day.

It became a motivation for my sister wishing to marry someone before the due time of my father came, though she did not pursue. And when that time comes, it will be without my father. In the same way, I am left with just a dream of a wonderful covenant.

I grew up loving the song, Sing me a song again, daddy, always imagining to sing it to my own father. Now all I have is this song, though I still continue to sing it to him deep in my heart.


I love you, Papa! I will always be your darling little girl. And you will always be the greatest father in the whole world! 

Anne's birthday..(?)

03 October 2011. This is such a beautiful day, truly wonderful! :)

I woke up with the thought of Anne's birthday -- the simple things we can possibly prepare to make her happy. To surprise her, I started to look for the blouse that she once chose for me which I was not able to wear for a year. I fitted it with all the mix-matching in the hope to get the perfect match for today. But fortunately or unfortunately, it didn't fit me right. Maybe I'll just surprise her some other time. I did not bring my lunch expecting that we will dine out to celebrate.

I went to Mass also offering intentions for her. Then I passed by the flower shop to buy her a bouquet of assorted flowers. I appreciated the lady for her fastness and creativity in flower arrangement. She did not have a change of the big bill so I needed to collect all my smaller bills and pennies to pay her. I ended owing her 20 pesos. hehe

Yes, the bouquet is for Anne but I am also excited with it. In my jeepney ride, while trying to arrange it a little, I was drawn to the flowers and my excitement. Then I realized that I already passed by another village beyond my office! So, 'manong, manong, lugar palihog.' I had to go another trouble of crossing the wet streets in this rainy day hopping from one side to another avoiding the jeepneys and not to be caught up with a shower of those watery grounds.

You can almost guess how I controlled my laughter and smiles walking alone on the street. I have so much of excitement to contain! Arriving the office I waited for DBB to come out. I greeted him with a big smile, 'Good morning, DBB! It's Anne's birthday!' Confused of what I said, he reached for his calendar checking the date today and said, 'Anne's birthday is tomorrow, October 4.' 'Huh? Thought it is today?! I bought her a bouquet.' And DBB laughed. 'Oh, but will you do us a favor of giving it to her?' Of course DBB did not refuse.

Anne's birthday is tomorrow, 4 October, not today, 3 October. I felt stupind laughing alone recalling the first hour of my day. Today remains to be a so, so, so wonderful, happy day making me feel so much more beautiful with all the many reasons to smile and laugh. Hmmmm... let me infect the world with this! But first, I have to wait for others to come to hear my piece. hahaha!

Hello, Mr Sun!

I come across an article months ago about proper care of the eyes. One of the things that we should avoid is glare. Oh well, I am failing in that.

When days seem to be so heavy and reality is too chaotic to bear, I always find consolation in the firmament. A day's jeepney ride, is giving me one beautiful opportunity to enjoy the sky especially on a sunny day. When all I see down here is too depressing, a little twist of my head to look above is such a wonderful relief. As I look at the glaring sun feeling the heat and it's powerful magic, even for few seconds I am brought to feel the heavens as I slowly close my eyes. For a second I am freed of the reality; for a second I am to lose my thoughts in exchange of wonders; for a second I have a foretaste of heaven; for a second I feel the Creator...

Prayer for Priests

Just would like to share this prayer with you, as our priests are really in need of prayers. Thanks and blessings to you all.

Prayer for Priests

O Jesus,

I pray for your faithful and fervent priests;

for your unfaithful and tepid priests;

for your priests laboring at home or abroad in distant mission fields.

For your tempted priests;

For your lonely and desolate priests;

For your young priests;

For your dying priests;

For the souls of your priests in Purgatory.

But above all, I recommend to you the priests dearest to me:

The priest who baptized me;

The priests who absolved me from my sins;

The priests at whose Masses I assisted 

And who gave me Your Body and Blood in Holy Communion;

The priests who taught and instructed me;

All the priests to whom I am indebted in any other way

(especially …)

O Jesus, keep them all close to your heart,

And bless them abundantly in time and in eternity.

Amen.

Also, you may access this site for more prayers for priests.