Why does it have to be like this? Why do I have to be like this? Why do I have to act like this? Why do I have to feel this way? Well, I can only ask and question..!
I've been looking forward for this day with thrill and excitement. This is supposed to be a happy day. For today we celebrate the feast of the Annunciation, Mama Mary's fiat, her YES that many of us wish to follow and to own. I was hoping for a better day when I can also renew my yes and even give my another yes.
I've been looking forward for this day with thrill and excitement. This is supposed to be a happy day. For today we celebrate the feast of the Annunciation, Mama Mary's fiat, her YES that many of us wish to follow and to own. I was hoping for a better day when I can also renew my yes and even give my another yes.
But waking up this morning I feel more of Magdalene rather than Mary. I prayed to God, 'Lord, please let me be Magdalene. Let me kiss your feet, wash it with oil and dry it with my hair' as I make my way to kissing the floor of the chapel. There He is in the tabernacle. I spoke to Him, I ask Him questions, I ponder on things... no, I was actually begging for Him to give me light. 'Lord, please be my Light. Please give me light so I may see the good in all these things. Mary, seat of wisdom, pray for me.'
Today is Friday, 25 March 2011. The feast of the Annunciation, a joyful celebration. But Friday is meant for Sorrowful Mystery in the Rosary. And I feel more in deep sorrow at the start of this day. But I also know that this day will not end with me being joyful. I believe that my hour for rejoicing will come. Only that I have to feel this way, I need to be in this as of the moment. So do I dwell on this feeling to savor it, though not for long.
I am just at the first hour of my day. This day is going to be long for me.
