Monday, December 10, 2007

The Crucifix in Green

Lifeless, lying dead on green

A memory of men’s sin

Carrying so much burden

But the will is never hidden.

It is the expression of great love;

The desire that His people will have

The freedom to fly like a dove

And salvation they won’t starve.

As the green colored the clothing

Reminds us of His being

The God of the living;

His great mercy revealing.

+ jocrossy +

12/09/07 @ 4:30 PM

Reflecting in Silence

Advent Recollection (w/ the TA)

at Don Salvador Benedicto, Negros Occidental.

Friday, November 30, 2007

In Gratitude...

friends,

just wanna let you all know that i've always been grateful for everything that we shared. those moments, may it be nice and not so nice, happy and sad moments, i treasure them all. these are gifts that life offered me. every moment shared left a mark in my life and therefore captured a piece of me. whatever are those, i am thankful for it for i surely learned in all of those.
magkalimutan man tayo, e may pinanghahawakan naman akong treasure... yun yung mga panahong nakasama kayo sa iba't ibang paraan. let it be called past, but some of those are existing with me in my present, and might go with me in my future. undeniably, naging bahagi na ng buhay ko ang bawat pagkakataong yun sa kadahilanang yun ang nagturo sa aking maintindihan at mahalin ang buhay, at kung papaano ko harapin ang bawat araw na laan para sa akin.
at sa lahat-lahat ng yun, MARAMING SALAMAT.
naway ipagpala tayong lahat ng Poong Maykapal sa bawat araw na ating kinabubuhay kasama ang mga taong nakapaligid sa atin...

+ jocrossy +

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Self-evaluation

for the past days,i'm into sort of self-evaluation. i know things are changing in me. i intended to do things in a different me. which somehow brought others into a surprise, seeing me in a new way. tho it made them laugh... but which also brought me into a certain level of sadness...

hayyy... i feel sad... but surely i can still manage to smile, laugh and even crack a joke! o di ba?!

would anybody know that the happiest person in everybody's eyes can sometimes be the loneliest person in his deepest self???

but hey! this can't be self-pity!!!!!

whew!!!!

thanks to all who continuously pray for me...

i love you guys...

God bless us all!

Monday, November 12, 2007

Still on tears...

when i had my last entry here -tears -written, i didn't cry at all, i never intended to cry either. it was just i was moved to talk about it, 'tho i can no longer remember what moved me then.

but to my surprise, i had a share of tears in my class last nov.9. what happened then? well, we were just simply asked to recall our saddest moment in life. then each of us had to stand in front to share to the class what we had inside, as we were all expected to be a support group for everybody. just when the first person stood up, she was up to her tears! now what do you expect from me then?!

i actually started crying when the third person had her share since i can no longer hold my tears. when i had my turn, i was still crying but managed to speak well (in taglish pa jd!). i really shared a bit of my sadness to them. it came as a surprise almost to everybody, 'coz they thought i was all fine, always fine. i was a bit embarassed and i expressed to them that i really hated it -crying in front of anybody! i'm not used to it at all! i told them that they were blessed to see me in tears! but 'dayaon ko kuno'. you know why? because i wore shades! so still they were not able to see my crying eyes. hehe

it struck me when our teacher told me that i should give myself the time to mourn. hmmm... do i really have enough time for that? hehe

but it was a blessing for me then to have cried and be relieved, 'tho i never expected it to happen that way. and yes, i am thankful for that opportunity, to those who were there, and to God of course! it was a grace from Him then!

and! tinuloy ko nalang yung pag-iyak ko at night when i watched a japanese film 'Gokusen', funny but very touchy. i decided to join Yankumi in tears... ang galing noh?

i had my little emotions released, and my soul and eyes cleansed. see, shedding tears really helps...'tho painful it may seem... thank God for the gift of tears!

let's give ourselves a toast of tears! hehe

God bless everyone!

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Tears

it could mean to us a lot of things, 'tho basically it is sort of an expression...

tears maybe a sign of weakness, of surrendering, of hopeless, of helplessness, of anger, of hatred, of grievances, of loneliness, of nothingness... tears may also be a sign of joy, of excitement, of fulfillment, of fullness... which of these could mean yours???

tears are colored by our emotions. so whatever your tear would appear, it depends on how exactly you feel. we can always pretend of what to say about a tear that falls down our cheek, we might deceive our own minds with it since we can always think of reasons of what it could mean, but we can never hide it from our heart, from our soul, from our eyes in which it resides... just as tears come from the eyes and emotions from the heart, we cannot hide ourselves from what's inside for it is deep within that we reside...

but for the many tears that were shed and that will be shed, don't worry for it brings a feeling of consolation... of relief from the burdens of what has been kept inside... a freedom for at last it is expressed in a very cleansing manner: tears cleanse our eyes, our mind and our soul...

may we be healed or at least comforted by the cleansing power of tears coupled with the great touch from God above...may we be able to go back to where we belong... may we be brought back to the very home that is within us so we may be at peace... even for a moment...

God bless us all! ('tho not really longing for a tearful day...hehe)

Thursday, September 20, 2007

to surrender...

you know, it feels good whenever you finally decide to take the risk of jumping into something that you surely know will make you happy. against all the odds, you take the courage to stand firm for that. and it makes you happy...,,, but sad to say, not all the time... maybe for just a moment... happy that you are courageous enough, that you finally conquered some sort of 'fear' within you, and think that you have the world in your hand. it is indeed a victory for the mere fact that you overcome all those tough times... it's great! isn't it?

but as you go along, you are confronted with so many things. and the world just can't leave you happy and enjoying for what you have. and the painful part is when you are made to give up what you had just stood up for; when you are to take back the decision that you so longingly love and wishes to stick with... really painful... whew!

seems like giving up your everything... and you remain in the hope that you can go on with a new road, the road that you sometimes could hardly embrace. your reasons of resorting to it? well, the consideration you have for the people around you, probably the demand that is imposed upon you that you feel will make them happy...

it surely hurts whenever the very person or people you had hoped to join you in your victories, in your happiness, are the ones cutting it out for you. it's kinda depressing to know that you are doing things for them but you earned none of their consideration... hayyy...

as you are preparing for your departure from such point, with crossed fingers, may you be lead to that new road without regrets of the past...

and to whom shall you cling? of course, to your one and only GOD, the great source of strength... prayerfully, you hope for the grace that you really need, the perseverance, the generosity, the humility, the wisdom, etc... and you say, GOD i love you so... but how can i go on?...

to GOD we surrender...

God bless us all... God bless especially those who are in need of His great presence and warm embrace.

+ jocrossy +

9/20/07 - 1:31 am

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

happy wedding anniversary???

today is my mom and dad's wedding anniversary.

so how will i greet my mom? happy wedding anniversary??? sad wedding anniversary??? or what??? any suggestion???

Monday, July 30, 2007

Self-confrontation

it is never easy... especially when you are hurt. a fear might be in you, refusing to face yourself of what it can possibly show you.

it may come in different ways...

you may be confronting yourself through other people...which at times might be traumatic that you would wish to just run away from such person, stop communicating, and if you could just forget about him! never wanting anything related to him! but why is that so? because he might have caused you pains that caught you unguarded; no defense!

you may be confronting yourself through a thing or a place... which reminds you of your past. tears are often shed when it is still fresh in your memory. you might refuse to take a replica of such thing nor bother to pass by such place.

you may be confronting yourself through your very own self... which is usually hard to do. you would feel so helpless that you have nothing to hold on to, to defend you. coz it is the truth that you see in yourself. and what is so sad about it, is when you don't even understand how to go through with it!

in whatever means, we have to take courage to stand. we have to carry ourself no matter how difficult it is. we have to face it whatever it is... without disregarding the fact that we have to prepare ourself. coz whenever we are defeated, the pain continues. and when we fall down and surrender, it'll continue to haunt us... so we take our time to overcome those things that we are confronted of. it is our goal to get over it; so we can move on...

if the problem is how to do it... well, i guess nobody knows how to do it exactly... but we can always lean on our faith... just faith that you can do it...

may God grant us the courage... God bless our souls...

+ jocrossy +

Papa

three months today since Papa died... may he remain peacefully at rest...

God bless our family!

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

just wanting...

surely i got a lot of things in my mind... wanna write about all of these... but see, my mind is so cluttered. just can't pick any of it. and i coudn't put things in words... i need some time to do it and it's not now; it's really late! and i can't do it right here in front of my family- just a bit conscious.hehe

for now, a restful night to you... sleep tight... mwuah!

God bless us all!
(",)