In Gratitude...

friends,

just wanna let you all know that i've always been grateful for everything that we shared. those moments, may it be nice and not so nice, happy and sad moments, i treasure them all. these are gifts that life offered me. every moment shared left a mark in my life and therefore captured a piece of me. whatever are those, i am thankful for it for i surely learned in all of those.
magkalimutan man tayo, e may pinanghahawakan naman akong treasure... yun yung mga panahong nakasama kayo sa iba't ibang paraan. let it be called past, but some of those are existing with me in my present, and might go with me in my future. undeniably, naging bahagi na ng buhay ko ang bawat pagkakataong yun sa kadahilanang yun ang nagturo sa aking maintindihan at mahalin ang buhay, at kung papaano ko harapin ang bawat araw na laan para sa akin.
at sa lahat-lahat ng yun, MARAMING SALAMAT.
naway ipagpala tayong lahat ng Poong Maykapal sa bawat araw na ating kinabubuhay kasama ang mga taong nakapaligid sa atin...

+ jocrossy +

Self-evaluation

for the past days,i'm into sort of self-evaluation. i know things are changing in me. i intended to do things in a different me. which somehow brought others into a surprise, seeing me in a new way. tho it made them laugh... but which also brought me into a certain level of sadness...

hayyy... i feel sad... but surely i can still manage to smile, laugh and even crack a joke! o di ba?!

would anybody know that the happiest person in everybody's eyes can sometimes be the loneliest person in his deepest self???

but hey! this can't be self-pity!!!!!

whew!!!!

thanks to all who continuously pray for me...

i love you guys...

God bless us all!

Still on tears...

when i had my last entry here -tears -written, i didn't cry at all, i never intended to cry either. it was just i was moved to talk about it, 'tho i can no longer remember what moved me then.

but to my surprise, i had a share of tears in my class last nov.9. what happened then? well, we were just simply asked to recall our saddest moment in life. then each of us had to stand in front to share to the class what we had inside, as we were all expected to be a support group for everybody. just when the first person stood up, she was up to her tears! now what do you expect from me then?!

i actually started crying when the third person had her share since i can no longer hold my tears. when i had my turn, i was still crying but managed to speak well (in taglish pa jd!). i really shared a bit of my sadness to them. it came as a surprise almost to everybody, 'coz they thought i was all fine, always fine. i was a bit embarassed and i expressed to them that i really hated it -crying in front of anybody! i'm not used to it at all! i told them that they were blessed to see me in tears! but 'dayaon ko kuno'. you know why? because i wore shades! so still they were not able to see my crying eyes. hehe

it struck me when our teacher told me that i should give myself the time to mourn. hmmm... do i really have enough time for that? hehe

but it was a blessing for me then to have cried and be relieved, 'tho i never expected it to happen that way. and yes, i am thankful for that opportunity, to those who were there, and to God of course! it was a grace from Him then!

and! tinuloy ko nalang yung pag-iyak ko at night when i watched a japanese film 'Gokusen', funny but very touchy. i decided to join Yankumi in tears... ang galing noh?

i had my little emotions released, and my soul and eyes cleansed. see, shedding tears really helps...'tho painful it may seem... thank God for the gift of tears!

let's give ourselves a toast of tears! hehe

God bless everyone!

Tears

it could mean to us a lot of things, 'tho basically it is sort of an expression...

tears maybe a sign of weakness, of surrendering, of hopeless, of helplessness, of anger, of hatred, of grievances, of loneliness, of nothingness... tears may also be a sign of joy, of excitement, of fulfillment, of fullness... which of these could mean yours???

tears are colored by our emotions. so whatever your tear would appear, it depends on how exactly you feel. we can always pretend of what to say about a tear that falls down our cheek, we might deceive our own minds with it since we can always think of reasons of what it could mean, but we can never hide it from our heart, from our soul, from our eyes in which it resides... just as tears come from the eyes and emotions from the heart, we cannot hide ourselves from what's inside for it is deep within that we reside...

but for the many tears that were shed and that will be shed, don't worry for it brings a feeling of consolation... of relief from the burdens of what has been kept inside... a freedom for at last it is expressed in a very cleansing manner: tears cleanse our eyes, our mind and our soul...

may we be healed or at least comforted by the cleansing power of tears coupled with the great touch from God above...may we be able to go back to where we belong... may we be brought back to the very home that is within us so we may be at peace... even for a moment...

God bless us all! ('tho not really longing for a tearful day...hehe)