Sing me a song again, daddy

I was once a lovely girl who also dreamed of a beautiful future with the man I love. But more than the thought of marriage, I was always hooked on the thought of my father's presence in such a wonderful occasion. Of who will I be and what will I be at that time, I will still be my father's precious darling little girl.

But even before that dream happens, I lost my father. I remember him when he first learned of his cancer, he called me up and told me of his frustration. He was furious when the doctor without hesitation or any reservation told him straight of his medical condition. 'Was he crazy to tell me that I have cancer... when i haven't brought you yet to the altar?!' He was referring to a wedding day.

It became a motivation for my sister wishing to marry someone before the due time of my father came, though she did not pursue. And when that time comes, it will be without my father. In the same way, I am left with just a dream of a wonderful covenant.

I grew up loving the song, Sing me a song again, daddy, always imagining to sing it to my own father. Now all I have is this song, though I still continue to sing it to him deep in my heart.


I love you, Papa! I will always be your darling little girl. And you will always be the greatest father in the whole world! 

Anne's birthday..(?)

03 October 2011. This is such a beautiful day, truly wonderful! :)

I woke up with the thought of Anne's birthday -- the simple things we can possibly prepare to make her happy. To surprise her, I started to look for the blouse that she once chose for me which I was not able to wear for a year. I fitted it with all the mix-matching in the hope to get the perfect match for today. But fortunately or unfortunately, it didn't fit me right. Maybe I'll just surprise her some other time. I did not bring my lunch expecting that we will dine out to celebrate.

I went to Mass also offering intentions for her. Then I passed by the flower shop to buy her a bouquet of assorted flowers. I appreciated the lady for her fastness and creativity in flower arrangement. She did not have a change of the big bill so I needed to collect all my smaller bills and pennies to pay her. I ended owing her 20 pesos. hehe

Yes, the bouquet is for Anne but I am also excited with it. In my jeepney ride, while trying to arrange it a little, I was drawn to the flowers and my excitement. Then I realized that I already passed by another village beyond my office! So, 'manong, manong, lugar palihog.' I had to go another trouble of crossing the wet streets in this rainy day hopping from one side to another avoiding the jeepneys and not to be caught up with a shower of those watery grounds.

You can almost guess how I controlled my laughter and smiles walking alone on the street. I have so much of excitement to contain! Arriving the office I waited for DBB to come out. I greeted him with a big smile, 'Good morning, DBB! It's Anne's birthday!' Confused of what I said, he reached for his calendar checking the date today and said, 'Anne's birthday is tomorrow, October 4.' 'Huh? Thought it is today?! I bought her a bouquet.' And DBB laughed. 'Oh, but will you do us a favor of giving it to her?' Of course DBB did not refuse.

Anne's birthday is tomorrow, 4 October, not today, 3 October. I felt stupind laughing alone recalling the first hour of my day. Today remains to be a so, so, so wonderful, happy day making me feel so much more beautiful with all the many reasons to smile and laugh. Hmmmm... let me infect the world with this! But first, I have to wait for others to come to hear my piece. hahaha!

Hello, Mr Sun!

I come across an article months ago about proper care of the eyes. One of the things that we should avoid is glare. Oh well, I am failing in that.

When days seem to be so heavy and reality is too chaotic to bear, I always find consolation in the firmament. A day's jeepney ride, is giving me one beautiful opportunity to enjoy the sky especially on a sunny day. When all I see down here is too depressing, a little twist of my head to look above is such a wonderful relief. As I look at the glaring sun feeling the heat and it's powerful magic, even for few seconds I am brought to feel the heavens as I slowly close my eyes. For a second I am freed of the reality; for a second I am to lose my thoughts in exchange of wonders; for a second I have a foretaste of heaven; for a second I feel the Creator...

Prayer for Priests

Just would like to share this prayer with you, as our priests are really in need of prayers. Thanks and blessings to you all.

Prayer for Priests

O Jesus,

I pray for your faithful and fervent priests;

for your unfaithful and tepid priests;

for your priests laboring at home or abroad in distant mission fields.

For your tempted priests;

For your lonely and desolate priests;

For your young priests;

For your dying priests;

For the souls of your priests in Purgatory.

But above all, I recommend to you the priests dearest to me:

The priest who baptized me;

The priests who absolved me from my sins;

The priests at whose Masses I assisted 

And who gave me Your Body and Blood in Holy Communion;

The priests who taught and instructed me;

All the priests to whom I am indebted in any other way

(especially …)

O Jesus, keep them all close to your heart,

And bless them abundantly in time and in eternity.

Amen.

Also, you may access this site for more prayers for priests. 

To the morning glory

To the morning glory flowers,

That I, the spirit

May grow happy and blooming

As you are

Even in the midst

Of a rainy soul...

~  jocrossy +  ~

22 August 2011

@ 7:38 AM

What's forever for?

Lately, I've seen a lot of broken relationships. Guess this is the perfect song for where we are at... (though of course this is only true for some.) Please find below the lyrics, internalize it if you may. 

WHAT'S FOREVER FOR

Sung by Billy Gilman

I've been looking at people

And how they change with the times

And lately all I've been seein' of people

Throwin' love away and losing their minds

Or maybe it's me that's gone crazy

Cause I can't understand why

All these people keep hurting each other

When good love is so hard to come by

So what's the glory in livin'

Doesn't anybody ever stay together anymore

And if love never lasts forever

Tell me, what's forever for

Well I've been listening to people 

And they say love is the key

It's not my way to let them lead me astray

It's only that I want to believe

But I see love-hungry people

Trying their best to survive

While in their hands is a dying romance

And they don't even try to keep it alive

So what's the glory in livin'

Doesn't anybody ever stay together anymore

And if love never lasts forever

Tell me, what's forever for

And if love never lasts forever

Tell me, what's forever for

Rosary in the street

I was surfing the net for quotations on the Holy Rosary when I found this one from St Escriva.

"You always leave the Rosary for later, and you end up not saying it at all because you are sleepy. 

If there is no other time, say it in the street without letting anybody notice it. 

It will, moreover, help you to have presence of God." 

~ St. Josemaria Escriva ~

I felt happy to have stumbled on this one. I am affirmed by this line... Indeed I am growing in consciousness of the presence of God.  ^_^

St Josemaria Escriva, pray for us.

God bless and have a beautifully blooming day, everyone!
(",)

Happy wedding anniversary!

I greeted my mom on 1 August 'Happy anniversary!' She responded with a laugh and a question, 'how can it be happy when I am alone?'

It was their wedding anniversary. But I just told her that it is 'happy' still as you continue with your life and papa in the seemingly other world... ;)
hmmm... how do they celebrate anniversaries in heaven? 

Commitment and Home

Not too old for this life nor too young to speak about things, commitment is one thing that I learn for myself in my every day. For many of us who are on the verge of deciding hoping to trod the right path, I can see the pattern of struggling which way to keep. The moment we feel we are ready to commit for the next step, certain circumstance comes in to test our fidelity, faithfulness and for some to awaken for a different way. Nothing is certain in this world, not even the life we look forward to the moment we give our 'yes.' I see the contrasting reality that we need to battle with, which reminds me of the parable of the wheats and the weeds. Along with our growing desire to fulfill the Call is the growing temptation to keep us away from that desire. Survival of the fittest, it can be.

I was made to realize by a good friend of a possible meaning of a commitment. She reminded me of the will to do and to always choose to decide for that commitment. From which I recalled that yes, I could have decided otherwise but all this time I decided to commit myself in search of the Call. Definitely the searching was never perfect, in fact I arrived at a point that all I could see was a total mess of my so-called journey! But from where I am now, I am happy to realize that all of those were part of the bigger plan for me. Because those were the things that allowed me to truly experience life, to feel just how it is to be, and to be molded to be who and where exactly I am now. I am grateful to be blessed enough that I could end any regrets and to rather look at each as a precious piece in the puzzle. I continue to walk in the maze of my journey, the searching being part of the deepest desire to fulfill what I ought to fulfill.

I must admit that living in a different 'home' is quite a challenge as I am to deal with different people coming from different orientation and family culture. In my effort to embrace each of them in all their uniqueness, I am to realize that they too are exerting effort to do the same for me. If I find it difficult at times to deal with them, they too might be feeling the same way. The community of my ideals is for me to let go so I might embrace the reality of how it is to live with them. The beauty behind all these is that I am taught to learn the things I need for the coming days. Every single day is for me to experience, and by grace I will be able to learn the lessons of each.

Sometimes when I simply feel tired I would miss 'home.' And in my longing for a 'home' I would found myself sitting in the corner of the chapel. Then I could simply close my eyes, imagine and feel the loving embrace of a loving God. For the few minutes I feel cuddled and just like magic, I am somehow refreshed ready to get up again. The big consolation for me is that I am assured within me that I am happy. Tomorrow comes with or without a promise of new beginnings. But I am sure that it's gonna be a brand new day.

God bless and happy day, everyone!
(",)
~ jocrossy + ~

A time of pain, a time of grace

Newspapers carry on the headlines today the apology extended by CBCP over the PCSO fund mess. Since the allegation broke out involving 7 bishops, I was moved to check and analyze a bit from the different angles. Just like most of the faithful, I was surprised and saddened by it. I once spoke with a Catholic defender and yes, she expressed her frustration. But then again, it was not for us to condemn but rather to see it as a way to strengthen our faith while accepting our Church leaders in their desire to serve in all their frailties. Let it rather be a way to see just how we can further improve the Church knowing that temptations and baits are always around. I am reminded by the verse from the First Letter of Peter (1 Peter 5:8-10),

"Be sober and alert because your enemy the devil prowls about like a roaring lion seeking someone to devour. Stand your ground, firm in your faith, knowing that our brothers and sisters, scattered throughout the world, are confronting similar sufferings. God, the giver of all grace, has called you to share in Christ's eternal Glory and after you have suffered a little he will bring you to perfection: he will confirm, strengthen and establish you forever."

I am humbled and happy to have read today the pastoral statement of CBCP which you can read below. 

 

A time of pain, a time of grace

(A Pastoral Statement)

Our Dear People of God,

Our Mother Church has been deeply wounded by the controversies in the
Philippine Charity Sweepstakes Office that have erupted in the past two
weeks. Some members of the Church believe in the innocence of the
bishops involved in the issue, while others do not. There is no doubt
that everywhere in the Church there is great sorrow. We your pastors are
one with you. As shepherds struggling to love you like Jesus the Good
Shepherd, we are sorry for the pain and sadness that these events have
brought upon you.

We are saddened that many of you, especially the youth, the poor,
our Basic Ecclesial Communities, have been confused because of the
apparent inconsistency of our actions with our pastoral preaching.

As we express our sadness, we also ask you to be slow in judgment
and to conscientiously seek the whole truth behind the controversy. Let
us seek the truth always in charity.

We assure you that the bishops concerned are ready to accept
responsibility for their action and to face the consequences if it would
be proven unlawful, anomalous, and unconstitutional. We assure you that
their action was done without malice. Out of their sincere desire to
help their people, they failed to consider the pitfalls to which these
grants could possibly lead them. They have also expressed their
readiness to do everything that is necessary to heal this wound so that
we can all move forward in hope.

We also assure you, our beloved people, that we shall re-examine
the manner of our collaboration with government agencies for purposes of
helping the poor, making sure that pastoral sensibilities are respected
and the highest ethical standards are observed. We shall examine our
values in the light of our vocation to be disciples of Jesus Christ. We
commit ourselves to the long journey of personal and social
transformation required of all disciples of the Lord. We plead with you
to walk with us in this path of constant renewal.

We express again our deep sorrow for the pain that the recent
events have brought to you our beloved people. The good Lord knows our
love for you. The words of the psalmist come to our mind: “My sacrifice,
a contrite spirit. A humbled, contrite heart you will not spurn”
(Ps.51). As the same Psalmist addresses the Lord, we take his words as
our own to encourage and challenge us: “Indeed you love truth in the
heart; then in the secret of my heart teach me wisdom.”

For the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines,

+NEREO P. ODCHIMAR, D.D.
Bishop of Tandag
President, Catholic Bishops’ Conference of the Philippines
July 11, 2011

On the Feast of St Anthony de Padua

Checking my phone calendar for June 13, I was reminded of the feast of St Anthony de Padua. To his feast I requested for his special intercession. I lost a part of me for quite sometime and I need to find it to bring me back into writing. So to the patron Saint of lost things, I made an appeal...

I found a stampita of him of similar image above along with a feather (guess) in 2009 few days before his feast. Since nobody claimed it, I took it with me. I wasn't sure then if it was really lost by somebody but I was sure that I found him.

In the eve of his feast, I stared at the image and in my prayer... just like St Anthony de Padua, that I may carry the infant Jesus in my own arms with fondness as I wear in me the living Word blooming in love and holiness like flowers beautifully do, with Jesus constantly touching my face in blessings and graces, with my gaze focused directly to His very own eyes that I may never lose my way and never to depart from Him; that I may stay forever in love with Him and only unto Him.

St Anthony de Padua, pray for us.
(",)

Seeds of Injustice, a must read

Trying to run after time in my desire to work on my thesis fast, I asked for highly recommended readings for me to prioritize. Ideas are starting to unfold and I am overwhelmed with the many possible books on my list. So which one do I read first? Anne told me that the Seeds of Injustice (Reflections on the Murder Frame-up of the Negros Nine in the Philippines) from the Prison Diary of Niall O'Brien was the first of Fr Niall's books and is the basic. So I borrowed her one and only copy (assuring her that I will really take good care of it) and brought it along with me to the bank. Waiting for my turn, I started to turn on the cover, read the title and the commentaries at the back, the pictures...
Page 1 greeted me with this quotation,

Violence has a source, and that source is injustice.

Violence is the fruit of the tree of injustice

and hatred is its evil flower.

If we sow seeds of injustice, we reap violence.

If we want to remove violence, we must first remove injustice.

Niall O'Brien

This alone can bring one into a reflection on the truth of what he said. True, yes, true...
Continue on the pages...
Page 5 says,

para sila nanday

Digna, Nato, Arod, Clarita, Lina, Nanette, Boy, Putot (all are deceased)

para sa akon Ilog kag Amay

kag para man sa imo Nene

I love the way he put it, in Hiligaynon, our dialect... the pride of a native. And I really feel that he is talking to me still with the words, KAG PARA MAN SA IMO NENE, (and also to me). So do I identify myself with NENE as I try to pray for Fr Niall to help me with this reading that I may understand the words in the context that he wished for every Nene to understand. Kag para man sa imo Nene will be a good drive for me as I continue to read the pages...

So my journey of the recent past in this island of Negros, in the prison cell of the Negros Nine begins...

http://misyononline.com/new/jul-aug2009/the-Negros-Nine-Live-On

Yes! It's a good news!

This is what is amazing! Just minutes after or maybe an hour after I posted my blog, MARY's fiat. Will it also be Mary's fiat? good news are starting to come in, from friends who are happy with their good news of the day. See, reasons to smile and be happy are making its way to me! With my previous statement, 'I believe that my hour for rejoicing will come,' the law of attraction, a mind disposition, the faith, it all matters. :D

Hmmm... happiness doesn't have to be 'me.' It can always come in the gentlest news to the most freaking great news of friends and other people. ;)

And ooopppzzzz, before I end this blog, another affirmation came in, just few minutes ago. A very simple, short but concise comment from a dear friend, 'Luke 2:19.' Checking the Bible it says, 'As for Mary, she treasured all these words and continually pondered them.' And so be it... <3 

Mary, seat of wisdom, pray for us.

(",) 

MARY's fiat. Will it also be Mary's fiat?

Why does it have to be like this? Why do I have to be like this? Why do I have to act like this? Why do I have to feel this way? Well, I can only ask and question..!

I've been looking forward for this day with thrill and excitement. This is supposed to be a happy day. For today we celebrate the feast of the Annunciation, Mama Mary's fiat, her YES that many of us wish to follow and to own. I was hoping for a better day when I can also renew my yes and even give my another yes.

But waking up this morning I feel more of Magdalene rather than Mary. I prayed to God, 'Lord, please let me be Magdalene. Let me kiss your feet, wash it with oil and dry it with my hair' as I make my way to kissing the floor of the chapel. There He is in the tabernacle. I spoke to Him, I ask Him questions, I ponder on things... no, I was actually begging for Him to give me light. 'Lord, please be my Light. Please give me light so I may see the good in all these things. Mary, seat of wisdom, pray for me.'

Today is Friday, 25 March 2011. The feast of the Annunciation, a joyful celebration. But Friday is meant for Sorrowful Mystery in the Rosary. And I feel more in deep sorrow at the start of this day. But I also know that this day will not end with me being joyful. I believe that my hour for rejoicing will come. Only that I have to feel this way, I need to be in this as of the moment. So do I dwell on this feeling to savor it, though not for long.

I am just at the first hour of my day. This day is going to be long for me.

A post for 'Joy in Christ'

When I allowed myself to listen to God's call, it was the start of beautiful things... Jesus has become a bridegroom for me, so loving and His manifestations was so real. Intimate moments are very possible with Him the moment we decide to allow our hearts to commune with His...

God bless and stay in love, everyone!
(",)

Joy in Christ is a group I joined in facebook.

Happy birthday, Sjon!

Happy birthday, Sjon!

It is a joy na makaila ko sama nimo. Knowing you is one proof just how music binds people. Thank you for the songs you shared to me. Thank you at di ka natakot sa boses ko.hehe

May your words find fulfillment in the lyrics,

May your notes be attuned in melody,

May your heart find its own passion

In the rhythmic soul of life

That belongs to the Almighty.

Rainbow Connection, this is one of the songs that reminds me of you.

GTI and have a great life, Sjon!

mwuahuggzzz!

(",)

ONE LOVE

These lines of the song came to me last week when I could hardly rationalize what I felt.

Few are the choices we are given.

The sands of time pass quickly by...

And I can't help but believe

that my whole life will be spent in ONE LOVE...

And I continue to sing it even in my head. Such a comfort song in this time of worriness and fear. This brings me a positive light trying to keep me calm, lulling me to ease...

So even in my fear and worry, 'Yes, Lord, Thy will be done unto me as You wish.' Just grant me courage as you promised, 'Courage, my child, for I am with you.'

Happy birthday, Ms Bing!

Ms Bing,

You are a reflection of God's image.

Your presence is a blessing to His people.

Your words are echos of His Good News.

Your life is a testimony of His goodness.

Happy birthday, Ms Bing! I am grateful for having met you.

God bless. Keeping you in prayers...

love you and mwuahuggzzz!

(",)

Happy birthday, Totomel!

Happy birthday, Toto! Tigulang ka na ay ho. hehe

It's a pleasure, a blessing, and a gift na nakilala ta gid ka. You're a friend, little brother, and co word-weaver. I am learning from you (hopefully para sa kaayuhan. hehe)

May you happily live in God's little garden:

to be sown in life's fullness,

to grow in wisdom,

to blossom in creativity,

to wither but with meaning and fulfillment.

Enjoy the journey!

GTI. mwuahuggzzz!

Keeping you in prayers... Please stay in touch.

(",)

18 February 2011

Today, 18 Feb 2011: birthday of my brother, operation of Bebeth, thanksgiving for Matthew & his family, a day of prayer for me as I come to remember those whom I promised to pray... I offer them all in an early morning Mass and to the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus...

As I was walking on my way back home, I began to wonder, what other stories could there be for today? And as I enter the house,

'please pray for a sister in Bahrain and for the people of Bahrain, Jordan and other places in the world who are struggling for freedom...'

Indeed it is another day of prayer...

Still, all praises and thanksgiving be to God! ♥

In a conversation with Fr Alej

In a conversation with Fr Alej,

Joy: Father, do you also shy away from God whenever you are confronted with your weaknesses and temptations?

Fr Alej: No, rather, the more I recognize my need of Him. As I spend my time with Him in the Eucharist, the more it becomes meaningful. The more I crave for His presence...

I can't remember his exact words but I knew since then that I was to take the Eucharist with a greater meaning, to love it more and more... And yes, he somehow taught me how to love Jesus in the Eucharist...

At the chapel in the cemetery where Fr Alej was buried. It was my first visit of him.

Remembering Father Alej

Sharing to you, HANDOG by Florante.

I always wanted this to be sung in my funeral. So once, I requested Fr Alejandrino Plaza SVD (RIP) to play it with a guitar. He was the one and only person who sang/played it with an intro...

The song goes, 'tatanda at lilipas din ako, ngunit mayrong awiting iiwanan sa inyong alaala dahil minsan tayo'y nagkasama.' (I shall grow old and be gone, but I will leave you with a song for your memory because once, we were together). Now that he is gone, indeed he left my memory with this very song...

Remembering you so well, Fr Alej on your birthday today. Together we shall sing this once again soon as I reach your heavenly place. Til we meet again...
GTI! **huggzzz**

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FR ALEJANDRINO PLAZA SVD (RIP)!!!

A Birthday Greeting to Ken

Birthday greetings to the poet!
He's busy, i bet,
weaving the lines to express
what's within no less.

More blessings for you this year.
Will you be wishing over a beer?
Cheers my friend for more excitement
as you grow older with enlightenment.

Happy birthday and God bless you, Kenneth!
(",)
~ jocrossy + ~