Guess this is my first write up about my mama. I'm not so close to her and... not really that close. But let me think of her, of how I relate to her and how she created a big impact in me.
I do remember her as my first catechist who taught me my basic prayers. I remember her as a caring mom every time I got sick; the very reason why I would love to get sick. (hehe!) As a music teacher, Carpenter's "I'm Caught Between Goodbye, I Love You" was the very song that she taught me by simply listening to her tune and dictating the lyrics while I copied it over a candle light. Never had I heard of it when I learned the entire song. I just trusted to her tune and she got it right! As a survivor, she taught me how to eat in a cowboy way, to appreciate the food and to take whatever is set on the table. As a model, she taught me how to walk in a graceful way.
When I was a kid, every time we went to church, she would bring me after mass to that crucifix at the Cathedral. Carrying me to her arms, she would ask me to kiss the crucifix, touch the wounds of Papa Jesus then to His heart coupled with a prayer asking Him to heal my heart. Sickly as I was, this became our Church routine. More than following her commands was the sight of sincerity in her eyes asking for God's healing. With an innocent young mind, I would feel like a shy, good little girl before God. Inside me I would give Him a smile and stay not too long to give way to the next in line. That routine was what I would always look forward to in all of our masses.
What my mom doesn't know is that I have developed that special love for the crucifix. It is this passion that always keeps me so close to Jesus. I can still remember the expression on her face thinking of the possibility that I would become a nun. Obviously she was not pleased with the idea. But it was that love of the crucifix that she taught me that led me to my searching; it was that burning passion that keeps me in my discernment for the vocation I am being led. My religiosity started with that routine and I guess until now she never realized that... That was the greatest impact she created in my person that I am always grateful for.
As I always hold on to the view of Jesus crucified, I remember my mom. That very image of God that sticks through my heart will always remind me of my mom. I may not be expressive for my love and gratefulness to her,but as long as I'm alive this heart will continuously burn for that passion of the crucifix and that is where she will also be remembered.
This memory with my mom maybe simple but this is something big that it can capture my big love for God and for His people.
Thank you Father God for my mama, and thank you mama for my God.
(“,)
+ jocrossy +
P.S. I never expressed this thing to my mama and I don't know yet when will I tell her or when is she going to learn about it. But the fact remains that no matter how distant we are from each other, how simple her life may seem, she is a great mom...
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